I have heard many curses in my existence in the world, but this particular statement is special. Now, Steel has always been one of my faithful critics since the start (although his criticisms are generally structured around calling me an asshole or weak). I even have a guess that the name Steel was created because the creator believes the steel is stronger than iron (based on his vast knowledge on the production of steel). Anyway, I saw this as the latest comment in The Guard and I and on to the matter at hand:

“You are welcome President Evil/the Ice.

Ironman is not an A**hole. He or she is worse.

The President evil/the ice is a different person. Don’t view us as one.

Please read all of The Ice’s comments.

I am always on your side President Evil/The Ice.

I think Ironman is a terrorist. He or she always have bad views about something.” – Steel 

Truth be told, I have never been called a terrorist in my entire existence. Aside from being one of the more bizarre words to call someone, it’s strange to be called a terrorist on the grounds of criticizing. Perhaps this whole thing feels like 9/11 to him, boo hoo. Nevertheless, Steel considers me a terrorist (which is worse than an asshole, oh no!). The last two sentences are somewhat vague, so I have divided their meanings in two cases. The first case is If one is a terrorist, then one always has bad views about something. Anything can be viewed through a bad side – it’s called pessimism. Look it up. The second case is that If one has bad views about something, one is terrorist. If that’s true, then judging by your actions, YOU are a terrorist. 

Putting that aside, I have always had a thought at the back of my mind that Steel and President Evil are one and the same. “The President evil/the ice is a different person. Don’t view us as one.” “Us”? Secondly, the time intervals between posts, but I think someone has deleted them, possibly to clear up his tracks? I leave that to you. 

Can’t delete posts this time, sucka’ 

    So here’s the complete and unabridged version of “The Guard and I”

He comes from the splendid and picturesque land of Surigao. His mother gave birth to him on the sixth of July of the year 1965. He has four beautiful sisters and three fine-looking brothers. He loves to play the majestic sport of basketball. He also plays the wonderful game of chess. He is fully clad from his gullet to his toes. His top clothes are colored in white that of a sampaguita flower or in deep water blue. His pants are as thick as a goat’s skin and are also colored in deep water blue. He can work under the heat of the soaring sun or in the cold of the night. His footwear is made of the skin of a large animal. His skin is colored like the bark of a narra tree. His eyes can both be like a tiger’s or a cat’s when. He has legs more powerful than a cow’s. His hands are as strong as a big crab’s claws. He is as fast as a wolf. He is as tough as a tank. His ears are like radar tracking hostile entities. He is as agile as a jaguar. He is as honest as a child. He dislikes dishonesty and offenses against persons. His eyes can spot a person without an ID within a hundred meters. He had issued countless amounts of parking violation tickets. He can take on mobs, gangs, and the forces of evil with his remarkable authority. He scours the university with all of his instincts and abilities to ensure the safety of the people. He is Antonio Parnada or Ninoy to his friends.

. the descriptions he made about Antonio are vivid. I like the way he organized the information to become interesting and organized. His entry showed thought and effort. This entry made him realize something important so I’ll say that it is fruitful.

Bubbles said this on February 17, 2008 at 2:02 am 

. i love fruits too, especially bananas

Anonymous said this on February 17, 2008 at 7:25 pm 

. I agree with bubbles! Fruitful! It’s very easy to imagine Antonio and the way it’s written makes Antonio sound interesting. The first paragraph is filled with a lot of comparisons that makes Antonio sound like he has superhuman abilities. Much effort was put into this entry and it really shows. Nice work.

Darna said this on February 17, 2008 at 8:38 pm 

. my love for your article is as deep and as blue as the ocean! fantastic! im being honest, like a child! indeed!

Anonymous said this on February 18, 2008 at 12:06 am 

. okay.. so i have to repeat my comment….Summary:The post is about Antonio, a security guard of Ateneo. He describes the quality Antonio possess as a security personnel of the university.His descriptions are arranged in a logical and organized manner. The vivid descriptions made his post interesting and engaging. I can see the effort he put into this entry. Good job!Bubbles said this on February 18, 2008 at 7:24 pm 

. Summary:Antonio is a security guard working in the Ateneo campus. The entire first paragraph is a description of Antonio. The way Arthur describes the security guard is very vivid since he compares Antonio with images that the readers are familiar with.Other Comments: refer to previous post.

Darna said this on February 18, 2008 at 8:30 pm

. Now, this is one interesting piece of work. I couldn’t almost believe what I was seeing through my iron man mask. But where do I begin?

One: Ambiguitiy

There have been many instances where I wanted to charge up and blast my laptop screen because of confusion from ambiguity. Perhaps you can work on these points. One, “his footwear is made of the skin of a LARGE ANIMAL.” Hmm, I’m not a bio major but i suppose the world is full of big and/or large animals e.g. a yeti. More so if you are, say, an ant, then nearly everything is large is it? Moreover, you later refer to the guard having the strength of a “COW”, which, take note, is also a large animal. But what are the odds of you referring to a cow when u mentioned “the skin of a large animal.” One last thing, something that I think should be taken note of, “his eyes can be that of a tiger’s or a cat’s.” The only thing that this image would stimulate is my backspace button.

Two: Strange comparisons

I usually compare how fast I can screw up Spiderman’s spider sense with my powers, but in this certain entry, I think you should reconsider many of the comparisons you chose.

He is as honest as a child

Would that imply that all children are honest? Children lie just to escape blame, more often than not, they get caught because they can’t think of anything else and have to admit the blame.

He can take on mobs, gangs, and the forces of evil with his remarkable authority.

Authority is the power to give orders. Lets be realistic here, when fighting a mob of hoodlums much more the “forces of evil” , telling them to back off or stay behind the line isn’t going to get you anywhere, except probably the morgue.

He is as tough as a tank.

I destroy tanks all the time, but that because of my suit. Nevertheless, the battle tank is one of the toughest vehicles out there, but comparing this man to it is, shall we say, overkill?

His hands are as strong as a big crab’s claws.

Never mind.

I’ll leave it at that. All this thinking is heating up my suit. One last thing “His top clothes are colored in white that of a sampaguita flower or in deep water blue. His pants are as thick as a goat’s skin and are also colored in deep water blue.” deep water blue….(for the first sentence refer to ambiguity). Hope this helps but this is true, even though I am not a child.

Iron Man said this on February 19, 2008 at 8:34 pm 

.

Who is this iron man? He is an asshole.

steel said this on February 20, 2008 at 8:39 am 

. props to iron man for being bold enough to speak the truth (although he did it hiding behind his mask). how do we expect to get better if no one tells us we’re doing something wrong? we can sugarcoat are comments all we want but we would be doing our classmates a disservice. ok, so maybe iron man went way below the belt. but sometimes the best comments are the ones that hurt the most.

Anonymous said this on February 20, 2008 at 9:05 am 

. whoops…i mean our comments, not “are”

Anonymous said this on February 20, 2008 at 9:06 am 

. yeti is not yet proven to be real.

steel said this on February 20, 2008 at 9:35 am 

. What classmates are you talking about? I just hate ironman. Steel is tougher than iron. Iron is mixed with other metals to make steel. This is done to minimize the weakness of iron.

steel said this on February 20, 2008 at 9:42 am 

. Ironman is weak

steel said this on February 20, 2008 at 9:44 am 

. hey ironman is hoarse. he does not know what he is saying. the tank is a metaphor that states that the guard is really tough. he also uses u instead of you. Isn’t that a sign of illiteracy? He is also living a fantasy. He is not credible.

the overseer said this on February 20, 2008 at 10:33 am 

. I’m sorry, the hey should be replaced with the

the overseer said this on February 20, 2008 at 10:34 am 

. the ironman is like neri

President Evil said this on February 20, 2008 at 10:38 am 

. the ironman is living a life fantasy. He thinks he is really ironman with his battling of tanks, spidey senses and all. he thinks yeti is an animal. Well, yeti is not yet proven to be real.

Humanoid said this on February 20, 2008 at 10:44 am 

.

Damn I’ve never seen so many “hostile entities” in one spot. While I was just giving my personal thoughts about this entry, many took it to be a personal verbal assault. Talk about stifling my freedom of expression. Instead of focusing on my super hero self, why don’t we focus more on the work itself, ey? Okay, let me address each one of your concerns.

Dear overseer, in my sudden rush of ideas I must have made a typographical error (it would do you well to look it up in an up-to-date English dictionary). Secondly, talking about illiteracy, I would suppose that capitalizing the first letter of every sentence is one of the most basic rules in grammar. So why don’t you work on that before getting ballistic on my typo.

Dear all who are concerned about the yeti,Did you not, at even one point, consider that I know the yeti is NOT REAL? The yeti is myth, a hoax, and yet you say “not yet proven” does that imply that it really IS out there, and waiting to be found?

And lastly, dearest steel:Read my comic book. It will rock your world if you believe steel is tougher than my powered armor.Peace out to you all.

Iron Man said this on February 20, 2008 at 2:23 pm.

Yehey ironman is really like romulo neri!

President Evil said this on February 20, 2008 at 4:39 pm

Hery ironman armor is not iron. It is made out of super metal shit!

President Evil said this on February 20, 2008 at 4:39 pm

One more thing. My apologies but I just missed this in my last comment. Concerning the yeti, saying that it is not yet proven doesn’t alter its mythic largeness. Take the loch ness monster, it may be mythic, but it’s still enormous. Thank you.

Iron Man said this on February 20, 2008 at 4:50 pm

I’ve never seen such a dense collection DUMBASS in my entire life. Even though some of iron man’s comments concerning the main essay are questionable (the child and the tank comparisons, which are quite sound although admittedly juvenile), the comments pertaining to the yeti filled me with much ire; I didn’t think such morons even existed.

Anonymous said this on February 20, 2008 at 5:42 pm

True that, anonymous. A yeti…lol

denisandrewflores said this on February 20, 2008 at 7:22 pm

hey steel, are your feelings hurt or something? I won’t even be surprised if you’re the author of the post itself. Dude, it’s constructive criticism, but you get your panties wet just because Iron Man has a different opinion. He HAS some valid points, especially regarding the very cliche use of figures of speech. Oh and you sure aren’t an asshole, by contributing to the whole lot to the betterment of the post. You just label Iron Man an asshole, and proceed to brag about how steel is made up of iron. Grow up, dude. The sight of criticism hurts your fragile feelings then you resort with immature name-calling and off topic ramblings about steel. Seriously, did anyone even ask about steel’s composition? NO. It was just you who brought it up, out of nowhere LIKE A MAGICIAN PULLING A RABBIT OUR OF HIS HAT. Ganda ng figure of speech ko no, ‘di gasgas? Yeah, I thought so. Stop being a moron, seriously. “Yeti is not proven to be real” really? No shit, sherlock. 

Anonymous said this on February 20, 2008 at 7:41 pm.

*Spider sense tingling* I came here looking for trouble, and right I am. Sorry Iron Man, you didn’t mess up my senses this time, cause this time, I really found trouble. Dear author, I am sorry to say that your essay needs improving, even I am on Iron Man on this one, it is true that your comparisons are ridiculous. I do find them extreme, yet sensible at times but son, you really have to fix that. I believe Iron Man pointed out many of those ambiguous statements, and I believe everyone gets the point. There is not much to say but, stop saying he, we all know its a he, you don’t have to say it in every sentence. How would you feel if I gave a 1-hour lecture about, say, Iron Man, and everything I said was “he”? That would be a feeling stickier and ickier than my own super web. Well, that raps up my point, I hope that all ends well. Oh by the way, steel, Iron Man still is cooler. That is all. 

Spider man said this on February 20, 2008 at 8:34 pm

Iron Man is so funny )

peace

Anonymous said this on February 20, 2008 at 9:18 pm

“Iron Man is hoarse.” Does that even make any sense? It’s the same as asking if sharks had lazers. This is a blatant “NO” is case you’re still wondering. The reason how Iron Man can’t be credible is because he is INCREDIBLE. And if you think what I just said is immature, I don’t know, it’ s just the truth. Stop getting pwnd. PEACE and all hail constructive criticism. 

Shuma gorath said this on February 20, 2008 at 11:03 pm

I never knew that such a simple blog entry could spark such hatred between superheroes. But anyway, I stick with Iron Man. The comparisons are too absurd that can be called complex modifiers. They are more of exaggerated comparisons. Try leveling the comparisons to a more sensible level, not that of absurdity or fantasy. Sorry dear author, but that is how I see it. 

Power Ranger Red said this on February 20, 2008 at 11:04 pm

I think chris=steel and arthur=president evil

Iron boy said this on February 20, 2008 at 11:07 pm

PHOTON……. CANNON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iron Man said this on February 20, 2008 at 11:22 pm

LOL!!!

War Machine said this on February 21, 2008 at 12:22 am

“Who is this iron man? He is an asshole?”

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

War Machine said this on February 21, 2008 at 12:24 am

Wow. I understand that each one has different interpretive principles that shape ow you view Ironman’s comments. Some find it offensive, others find it fine.

While foul language is present, I think comments are still manageable for now. I will not directly intervene yet. I leave this up to you as young adults. 

My suggestion: don’t take the comments personally. Let’s not forget that we’re supposed to focus on developing writing skills. Establishing animosity is not the goal of the blog writing project

Frances said this on February 21, 2008 at 1:28 am

. This URL should be one of the candidates for the Nobel Prize for humor if such an award existed. This is bookmarked forever.

. denisandrewflores said this on February 21, 2008 at 8:27 am 

. To Steel:I do not know who you are but I thank you. You are a bit harsh. Still, thank you.

To Ironman:Some of your hostile criticisms are fine. Most of them, however, are below the belt. Moreover, I don’t find you that superior to have the skill to reason such comments. You are not that good to give foul statements. You might be better in English because it may be your first or second language while it is my third language. However, don’t post comments that seem like just saying “I’m far better than you and I rarely make mistakes” blatantly. I know that my English skills need improving but don’t be so denigrating in making criticisms.

BIRDS OF THE SAME FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER

About your comment “He is as honest as a child Would that imply that all children are honest? Children lie just to escape blame, more often than not, they get caught because they can’t think of anything else and have to admit the blame.”, I say that you have that impression of children because you are surrounded by children that have those behaviors. The characteristics of the child you gave MIGHT be your characteristic when you were a child.I, on the other hand, have the impression of children being honest and disciplined. Because, a clear majority of children that I encounter are honest and disciplined. Moreover, my parents and relatives always trained me to follow the rules and be honest when I was a child.

I had the flaw of generalizing how children behave. So did you. You are not that good.

I know you have violent reactions to this message. You always do.

To everyone else:Sorry for the inappropriate discussion in this blog.

By the way, I am President Evil.-

Yours,The author of The Guard and I

. the ice said this on February 21, 2008 at 10:57 am 

. I stated MIGHT in the paragraph about Ironman’s comment about children because I just want to say that there is a PROBABILITY that Ironman shares the behavior of the child he/she described. I am not saying that Ironman is essentially what he/she wrote about children.President Evil said this on February 21, 2008 at 11:35 am (edit) 

. Where have all of Iron Man’s entries gone?

. denisandrewflores said this on February 21, 2008 at 1:15 pm 

. Iron Man’s entries have been censored due to foul language and meaning.The Overseer said this on February 21, 2008 at 1:57 pm (edit) 

. I have edited my post. However, I only edited what I think is relevant. The color of the top clothes were ambiguous because I did not specify when the color changes. I also did not specify when Antonio’s eyes change.I did not change the large animal and cow. Ironman was just saying gibberish in his comment about large animals. I could change the description of the shoe if I know what exactly it is made of. Perhaps Ironman could use his armor to analyze Antonio’s shoes.The crabs claws can put a lot of force per unit area just like Antonio’s hands. That is what it meant. Ironman don’t know that.The Tank is one of the toughest weapon in an army’s arsenal. Antonio is one of the toughest guards in Ateneo’s security force. That is the analogy between Antonio and the Tank. Ironman is busy making foul comments to think that.I forgot the other comments of ironman because they were not good to begin with. Those comments are made just to make Ironman happy because being mean is what makes him/her happy.I think Ironman will definitely get an A in a Violent Reaction Paper.

. the ice said this on February 21, 2008 at 2:38 pm

. The Ironman instinctively will have foul comments on all of the ice’s post and comments.The Overseer said this on February 21, 2008 at 2:41 pm

. Please read The Ice’s first response.The Overseer said this on February 21, 2008 at 2:43 pm

. My previous two responses are meant to defend myself. I will not do this unless I am provoked.

. the ice said this on February 21, 2008 at 3:38 pm 

. My dearest apologies to everyone that is offended. I am just defending myself. This will be my last response on this site regarding the matter of Ironman unless I’m required to do so or I need to defend myself again.President Evil said this on February 21, 2008 at 3:46 pm 

. Foul language and meaning? Haha if I remember correctly, steel was the one who used foul language. Anyway….it’s gone now.

. denisandrewflores said this on February 21, 2008 at 4:23 pm